Every day I think about
picking up the phone to call you or text you or send you an email. Every day that I don’t do it is one step
forward for me since I know that any contact I have with you will be painful
for me and give you power. And I’m
getting stronger every day, knowing that sometimes my life is better.
But knowing these things
doesn’t mean I can automatically stop loving you. I can’t.
And I hate myself for loving you, knowing what you put me through. I accept that I will never know the answers,
but I wish you could have one hour of truth in our whole relationship and
answer my questions. I know it would
never happen because you lie to yourself as much as you have lied to me.
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