Questions…with no answers

Precarious...that's the best description of how I'm feeling right now.  But why?  I can't seem to get to the bottom of it.  Am I looking for issues just to have them?  Do I feel like I am further down the unseen path?  Do I feel insecure?  If so, why?  Do I feel in danger?  A little, maybe?  Am I scared?  A little, maybe?  Do I hate making hard decisions even if I know they are right, or do I just hate the consequences?  Is it frustration?  Do I hate what that frustration reminds me of?  Am I thinking of the future?  Am I trying too hard to live in the present?  Do I have doubts?  Do I have trust issues? 

Or is it just one of those days when I'm thinking too much?  Do I hate thinking when I can't get to the "reason" for the thinking?  That one I can answer with a sincere "yes."  Why am I even thinking at all when things are at a level place?  Is it fear that it's going to disappear into darkness yet again?  Is it fear of being vulnerable to being hurt again?  Am I looking for a reason to fuck things up before there's a chance for me to be hurt?  Haven't I done that too many times in the past?  Is it just a weak day (even though it's the weekend)?

Fuck it, I don't know.  And I think I'm tired of thinking.  Just let it go, and maybe it won't be there tomorrow.  Things will be back on track.  Just one of those days, I guess...not bad...just wary and wistful and maybe a little melancholy...without any real reason.  Guess there doesn't have to be a reason for everything, but my brain doesn't really work that way.  If I'm feeling something, after all the therapy I've had, there should be a reason....even if it's a reason I don't want to acknowledge.

Oh, well, life is good.  Things don't suck.  I just need to relax and stop trying to find the answers all the time.