The roller coaster of my life

I used to like roller coasters.  I really did.  Until I started experiencing the emotional ones.  Those aren’t fun at all.  In fact, there are times when I think hurting is better than the roller coaster.  At least you can make a plan to deal with hurt and have hope of getting better.  With the roller coaster, all you have is reaction.

But I don’t like being weak.  And I don’t like giving away everything I have for so little in return.  And yet I have no right to expect anything at all right now.  Guess that’s why it’s called faith.  Guess that’s why I’m an atheist.  I can only find faith in concrete things right now.

Guess it’s time to go to bed and think some more.  This one is going to take a while.